Coco Mills Cereal

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The "COCO" franchise is expanding all over the world and lately, in different types of venues.

It all started with poker, specifically at K9 Poker Tour / K9 Poker Room.

The original Coco, coconeely, slowly and gingerly nestled himself in the poker environment like a mackerel finding his way amongst the dolphins and sharks of the poker world. The coconeely mystique was allowed to grow with consistent poker play along with crazy and coocoo-like behavior patterns.

This PHENOMENON is unlike John Travolta's 1996 discovery that he has super-intelligence and telekinesis. Although coconeely has in depth knowledge of English Political and Military History, especially in The Battle of Madagascar (those poor little monkeys), he can't really be considered super-intelligent. As far as telekinesis, coconeely admits that he really hasn't had any family members on television, other than maybe his half-uncle Coco Beware, not to be mistaken for BoBo Brazil, who performed regularly in televised World Wrestling Federation matches.

The Coco mystique has attracted a variety of friends and followers along with the odd foe. It has since spawned players like cocowhiss, cocobaldy, cocobruin, coco80, cocoguppy, cocopoutine, cococoocoo and the newest and upcoming star of online poker, cocowheresmycurdcheese or cocowmcc.

The consistent climb in popularity of our COCO poker franchise has been fairly well recognized in the online poker community and will continue to grow as it infiltrates the different poker venues online poker has to offer.

During that time, the Coco franchise has branched out into other markets.

We decided to tackle the breakfast cereal world. Coco Mills joined the market on January 5th, 2007. Our first and signature product was CocoPuffs, with that Great Chocolatey Taste!!!

We've been in costly court battles with General Mills in order to keep our cereal line on the grocery shelves. Along with our somewhat similar company name, General Mills considered our CocoPuffs too close to their "Cocoa Puffs" brand name.

Here's an explanation of our arguments:

On the "Mill's" similarity issue, we contend that there is a precedent. "Wal-Mart" and "Michael Vick's Dog Grooming Mart" have been co-existing for years as have "Chucky Cheese" and "Raoul's Cut-The-Cheese" air freshener supplies.

As for the "CocoPuffs" versus "Cocoa Puffs" comparison, other than the obvious fact that our version is a 1-word title without the "a", their cereal consists of small "puff" spheres that have been chocolate-flavored with cocoa produced from cacao trees. Our chocolatey flavor comes from a special chocolate dipped in the Indian River off the shores of the city of Cocoa Florida... If you ever visit the city of Cocoa, make sure you attend the "Mommy and Me Luncheon" which is a fun luncheon for Moms and children where moms can enjoy facials, massages and half hour all-u-can-get sessions with local cabana boys while their children are entertained with Magic Shows, Storytelling and daily showings of Michael Jackson's 2 new mini movies, "Beat It, Little Johnny and I are Napping" and "Thriller Without Pj's".

General Mills also thought that our mascot's name, "Johnny the Coocoo Turd" was too similar to their " Ronny the Cuckoo Bird". Even our catchphrase "I'm Coocoo for CocoPuffs" was negatively compared to their "I'm Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs".

Johnny the Coocoo Turd promoted the fact that CocoPuffs consists of a mixture of 5 different shaped turds, as opposed to our competitor's round or spherical shaped puffs. There's the "Star Turd", "Teddy Turd", "Banana Phone Turd", "Elephant Turd" and "Spaceship Turd".

During the holiday seasons, CocoPuffs' turd mixture varies to "The Rabbit Turd" for Easter, a mixture of "The Santa Turd" and "The Reindeer Turd" for Christmas, and for Halloween, a mixture of "The Bat Turd", "The Pumpkin Turd", "The Ghost Turd", "The Linus Waiting in the Pumpkin Patch for The Great Pumpkin Turd" and "The We Have No More Candies Sign In The Door Turd".

As of today, we are still battling in court to keep CocoPuffs on the shelves.

We haven't let our legal battles slow us down though. We've added a new brand to our cereal lineup, the mixed berry flavored "Captain DingleBerry" with our superhero mascot's famous catchphrase "You Just Can't Wipe Away the Great Taste of Dingle Berries".

We currently have a promotion for kids of all sizes. With 2 proofs of purchase from either our CocoPuffs or Captain DingleBerry cereal boxes, as well as 1 proof of purchase from either Charmin's Ultra-Strong or Ultra-Soft Bathroom Toilet Paper, you can order either our "Johnny The Coocoo Turd" or "Captain Dingleberry" action figures.

We are also pleased to announce that our two fierce mascots will appear in a comic book series.
The first 2 editions are "Johnny The Coocoo Turd makes a splash", where our fearless Johnny fights off being flushed to extinction, and "Captain Dingleberry meets Bidet Man" where our superhero clings for his life in a fierce watery jet attack.

We are in the process of adding a new brand to our cereal line. Let's hope General Mills or other companies don't go out of their way to find a problem with our proposed product name.

It will be called "Prix" which will consist of a mixture of Michael Vick and O.J. Simpson shaped puffs. "Prix" will be aimed at the adult population. Our mascot, the Prix Hobbit, is actually a pygmy offshoot of a child-like rabbit. The kid hobbit will keep trying to trick adults into giving him a bowl of "Prix" cereal, but he'll be discovered every time, and the adults will say, "Silly hobbit, Prix aren't for kids."

I am extremely proud at how the Coco franchise has grown. First the online poker world and now the breakfast cereal establishment along with the different possibilities deriving from our two lovable mascots.

Believe it or not, there are actually more existing franchises in the Coco empire as well as future ventures that we are working on as we speak. I will enlighten you on these other franchises and future ventures in the coming days.