Who Knew?

As some of you know, I've spent the last year shedding off the pounds, not only for health reasons, but also for the fact that my infatuation for Neytiri, the giant smurfette-like goddess in "Avatar", isn't quite going in the direction I was hoping for, as in I may actually never meet her, and it's possible that I'm actually letting wonderful and exciting women pass me by in the process. I find it hard to believe, 2 years later, that Neytiri and I haven't crossed paths, especially for the fact that every time I went to see her at the theater, she always told me that she sees me, and I would always say it to her, even to this day..."I see you, I see you Neytiri". So I guess it's time to move on and hopefully meet someone special. Hopefully the weight loss and the fact I've finally let go of the notion that Neytiri is the only one for me, will help me change my "single" Facebook status.

The weight loss journey had it's up and downs, literally, with 90 pounds lost before this past summer, then gaining 30 pounds of it over the summer, and now losing that 30 pounds and as of now, losing another 10. So if my math is correct, the journey so far has netted me a total loss of...well it's a lot anyways....and I'm planning on losing a good 20 more, all with exercising and eating the right foods.

Which brings me to a question a lot of people have been asking me of late, well on top of questions about my sanity, but that's for another time and place.

What people are asking me is how the heck have I been able to lose so much weight, and willing and probably able to lose more?

Here is a list of things I realized I was doing wrong and corrected accordingly:

1- Online poker isn't a physical sport - spending 8 hours a day suffering bad beat after bad beat after bad beat after...and freaking out on other players calling them donkeys among other things, doesn't burn calories like a good jog or a walk would do ~Who Knew?~

2- Poutine isn't a healthy food choice - I know, I know, it's hard to believe, especially when momma always told me that vegetables are good for you, and the last time I checked, potatoes are a vegetable...little did I know that potatoes had more calories than broccoli or cucumbers...and I guess if you factor in the calories from the oil you fry the chips in, the cheese curds, the gravy, and the accompanying Pepsi and couple of Joe-Louis on the side, it may tend to be a little much calorie-wise ~Who Knew?~

3- An exercise bike isn't just for hanging clothes - odd but true...the backrest actually isn't for your shirts and pants, nor are the pedals for hanging your socks and underwear, the seat isn't a platform to pile your dirty laundry on ~Who Knew?~

4- A box of Hamburger Helper makes a meal for 4 people...what a revelation!!! I really think they should make that fact a little clearer on the box, maybe devote one side of the box, THE WHOLE SIDE, maybe write "IF YOU CAN'T FIT THE MEAL IN A BOWL, IT MAY BE A SIGN THAT YOU SHOULD SHARE WITH OTHERS" or something to that effect...again ~Who Knew?~

5- A skillet is not considered a plate or a bowl...see #4 ~Who Knew?~

6- Tupperware-like containers actually aren't bowls for chips, peanuts, chocolate covered almond, butterscotch pudding, popcorn swimming in butter, jujubes or anything else you want in big quantities so you don't have to get up off the couch and go get more...they can actually be used to keep leftovers, like maybe 3 servings of Hamburger Helper (see #4 again), the same for Tuna Helper, maybe half a turkey and potato pie, 3 quarters of a lasagna meant for 4 people...~Who Knew?~

* Funny how a lot revolves around #4.

7- Watching sports on TV isn't the same as participating in them...mass clicking the remote from one game to another to avoid commercials or Montreal Canadien fans cheering a goal, no matter how fast you do it, doesn't burn too many calories...nor does switching positions on the couch from sitting to lying down...reaching in and out of your tupperware bowl for chips, peanuts, chocolate covered almond, butterscotch pudding, popcorn swimming in butter or jujubes, doesn't count as exercise either...again ~Who Knew?~

* On a side note, did you ever notice that near the upper side of a Hamburger or Tuna Helper box, they have this " Press and tear back top" tab, that you're supposed to push your finger through in order to be able to tear the top of the box off? Do you actually know how impossible it is to actually push your finger through that tab? it's impossible ok? I've never been able to do it and I will never try again!!!!

8- Vegetables are a better side dish option than bread...I always thought it was natural to dip a couple, ok maybe six, slices of bread in a skillet, I mean bowl, of Hamburger Helper...cucumbers and carrots just don't soak up the saucy juices like bread does...unfortunately, the stupid calorie-count factor comes in again...~Who Knew?~

9- Beer makes you gain weight...hard to believe since you seem to relieve yourself of it more than you actually drink, but apparently it's true...~Who Knew?~

10- A vegetable steamer?? Is that what that is? Did you ever try cleaning one of those suckers after warming up a batch of gravy for your poutine...~Who Knew?~

11- Topping off a fast food order with a diet pop doesn't make it much better...a 10 piece bucket of KFC fried chicken, fries, and a tub of macaroni salad, oh and don't forget the gravy, can't do without the gravy, won't be a less fattening meal if you have a diet Pepsi as opposed to a regular one...same goes for a medium pizza with a side of deep fried zuchini and garlic dip...not even with an order of Chinese food consisting of 6 egg rolls, sweet and sour chicken balls, sweet and sour breaded shrimp, garlic spare ribs, General Tsao chicken and mushroom egg foo young...~who Knew?~

This is how I've been able to lose the weight I have so far, and will lose more in the coming months.

I've also just realized that my life revolved a lot around Hamburger Helper...~Who Knew?~